Sifting for Gold: Ex-Mutants

Ex-Mutants: Special Edition #1

Amazing Comics

What's On The Cover?!
A woman with a prominently displayed crotch is leading a group of sword wielding youths (and Olivia Newton John apparently) to attack some mutants. They also appear to be protecting a 3 eyed, no nosed young man who is on a rock that is shining on one side for some reason.

What's Inside?!
What a strange and uncomfortable story! A young couple is flirting by a hot tub and then decide to go into the house to get nasty before the woman's flight. The man never sees the woman again. THIRTY YEARS LATER: a disfigured mutant is posing in a mirror, her reflection shows a gorgeous woman. Weird right? Dr. Emmanuel Cugat, with his 3 eyes and lack of nose (and the male from the couple at the beginning of the story) takes her away from the reflection and embraces her with some other mutants, and complains about being a freak. Immediately after that a flashback appears! Basically the countries of the world couldn't stop fighting, blah blah nuclear weapons, and BAM mutants. Flash forward to after the embrace, Dr. Cugat does experiments and heals the group of mutants, creating a breed of had been mutants, but mutants no longer, the EX-MUTANTS! (Four females and one male...) 

Cugat and the ex-mutants form a family bond and he trains them to fight, read, table manners etc etc. until they are ready to venture into the outside world. Once they leave their little lab bunker they are immediately hated by the mutant citizens of the Earth who are super mad at the Ex-Mutants for being human. Once they start to attack, the Ex-Mutants retaliate using swords and KILLING THEM, causing the mutants to retreat to their boss: Big Fred. The skirmish was not without casualties however, as one of the Ex-Mutants broke her nail. Then all of the exposition occurs! It turns out that Dr. Cugat healed the Ex-Mutants in order to bring his wife back to life, the mutants get to and warn Big Fred about the humans, and the male Ex-Mutant (named Belushi) decides that Dr. Cugat healed them so they could repopulate the Earth, which 2 out of the 4 females are against. A whole mess of weirdness and sexism in three pages. Anyway, the Ex-Mutants go to bed (mostly separately) and the next day go driving in the big bad world, only to crash their car and go unconscious... but some mysterious figures are approaching them....... THE END!

This panel makes me want to shower...

How's it Looking?
This black and white comics has so many different types of mutants! Ugly mutants, uglier mutants, hockey player mutants, melty face mutants, Ex-Mutants, it's got them all! Although I don't understand all of the mutations, I do find each of them... unique. The Ex-Mutants are all soooooooooo 80's, as is every female hair style (all 5 of them shown in the story). Basically what you get is a book that looks like a mixture of Ice Pirates and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

And So...
What's that? You want this comic? You want to read about a group of uncanny teenagers that follow the instruction of an older professor? Well then you can find this issue for as little as 25 cents. Want some more good news? Their are more omega level 80's issues of this book AND the series got picked up by Malibu for even more strange stories about humans trying to live as humans! Sounds like all good news to me, try getting rid of the misogyny though.

No comments:

Post a Comment